Does anyone else make sarcastic comments out loud when watching a TV show or film even though you’re completely alone?
why put cookie dough in the oven when you can put it in your mouth
because I don’t want salmonella….
then don’t eat salmon….
I hate when I smile at a stranger and they don’t smile back I’m doing this for you fucker
Today I feel crappy and like a burden.
THE BEST THING IN THE WORLD IS SEEING PEOPLE SMILING BECAUSE OF YOU
the best christmas gift you could ever give me
- a hoodie of yours
- a plane ticket to your house so i can hug your face
- a picture of you so i can pretend you’re next to me
- something that smells like you
- you know what
- just put yourself in a box
- i’d like that the best
the title of my autobiography is going to be “that’s not how you spell my name”