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Rachael, 18 from sunny England. Also I'm a lion.
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narwhal-noir:

I took my girlfriend to an improv show the other night and during intermission we were passionately arguing over whether half a 5 Hour Energy shot would give you 2.5 hours of energy or 5 hours of half-assed energy so we turned around to ask the opinions of the three people behind us and one of them said “Are all your arguments like this because we heard you in the lobby earlier fighting over the right way to pronounce ‘egg’?”

tsarcasm:

trapsical:

I took a shit in my grandma’s cat’s litterbox when I was like 13 and my whole family was wilding out trying to figure out why the cat took such a huge dump. Then they took her to the vet and we found out she has feline HIV so in a way, I helped her.

this story was wild from start to finish

Don’t confuse my personality with my attitude. My personality is who I am. My attitude depends on who you are.
- Frank Ocean (via 1110mi)
The first time I kissed you my whole body was shaking, and that was it, it only took me one kiss to get totally addicted to you
- (via saetern)

voldemort: let me be your ruler
death eaters: (ruler)

zootedboy:

if we skyping best believe im looking at myself in that lil window not u

And then suddenly I become sad for no reason, and it takes me days to get over that feeling.
- (via melisica)

normanbecile:

musicofthestage:

timelordparadise:

myownlost:

I’d like to cancel my subscription to Menstrual Cycle Monthly

I’m sorry, it appears you’ve taken out a fifty-sixty year subscription. However, we can pause it for nine months as long as you sign a contract that says you’ll take out a subscription to Baby Daily for at least eighteen years

Damn those Terms and Conditions.

i didn’t even read them i’ve made a terrible mistake

Natasha Lyonne for Opening Ceremony